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When You Maltreat Your Spouse

When You Maltreat Your Spouse

According to Cambridge Advanced Learners’ Dictionary, the word, “Maltreat” means “to treat someone cruelly or violently.” The word “cruel” means “extremely unkind and unpleasant and causing pain to people or animals intentionally.”

Because of increase in the level of wickedness in this world, the world has become a place where people love things and use people instead of loving people and using things as expected by God. If you are one of such people, repent.

“Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honour to the wife as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, THAT YOUR PRAYERS MAY NOT BE HINDERED” (1st Peter 3:7).

This scripture simply means that once you maltreat your officially married wife, you become God’s enemy irrespective of who you are. It is even worse when you physically assault her or emotionally torture her deliberately by avoiding her or her phone calls or SMS messages.

You maltreat your wife and offend God when you deny her access to your body for sexual pleasure. “Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self control” (1st Corinthians 7:3-5).

Maybe you claim to be a Christian or even a clergy. Your wife is dying of loneliness because you are always not available in the name of working for God. In case you do not know, your marital responsibility is more important to God than your church ministry. Receive deliverance from religious ignorance today and stop maltreating your wife.

You maltreat your wife when you bear malice with her and refuse to forgive what you consider an offence she committed. Yet, you go to church to clap hands, dance and shout and disturb the entire environment in the name of prayers. Sorry. God may not be listening to you. How do I know?

“Therefore, if you are offering your GIFT at the altar, and there, remember, that your brother has something against you, leave your GIFT there in front of the altar. First, go and be reconciled with your brother; then, come and offer your GIFT” (Matthew 5:23-24 NIV).

This gift includes praise, worship and any form of prayer. Besides, if you don’t forgive, it would mean that you have been lying to God; nay, yourself. “Forgive us our sins for we also forgive everyone who sins against us” (Luke 11:14).

Stop maltreating your wife by always making reference again to an offence you claim to have forgiven her. Stop intimidating and maltreating your wife by making reference to an ugly past or ex-lover relationship, that she confidentially or voluntarily confessed to you about. Doing this is an act of wickedness.

Stop maltreating your wife by talking to her like a house help in presence of your children or even strangers. Stop perceiving your wife as just one of many women. Don’t call her WOMAN or treat her just like any woman. There is a big difference between wife and woman. You CAN NEVER get your expectations in marriage as a husband until you start seeing your wife as your ONLY special wife, rather than just one of the existing women. You are God’s enemy when you maltreat your wife.

Remember that this lady was happy with her parents for decades before you appeared suddenly from nowhere and promised her entire family that you would make her happy for the rest of her life. Sir, what are you doing to her today? What even worsens your enmity with God is the fact that you took her to the altar of God and swore that you would make her happy for the rest of her life. Are you not doing the contrary? Please, stop maltreating your wife.

Before you met your wife, she had a dream of furthering her education, which you promised to help her actualize and support her. Now, instead of supporting her, you are even exhibiting mental insecurity and feeling threatened by her attempt to further her education.

You married a very gifted and talented wife. Instead of empowering her to exhibit her gifts and talents for the benefit of the entire society, while projecting even your family name, you have decided to become an obstacle to your own destiny. You are taking advantage of the fact that your wife has the fear of God and must submit to you in compliance with God’s instructions. Please, stop maltreating her (Malachi 2:15).

Stop maltreating your wife by using her to get sexual satisfaction and yet, you do not care whether she gets satisfied too, or even enjoys it. Selfishness.

Stop maltreating your wife by making your parents and siblings to disrespect her. Stop maltreating her by lazying about and doing nothing as vocation, only to use her hard-earned money for drunkenness, falling into street gutters, while bringing shame to your wife and other family members.

You claim there is no money for family upkeep and the children’s school fees have not been paid. Yet, you have money to spend on outsiders, on other women and on adultery. The worse of it all is that she knows your sexual sin partners. Can’t you see that you are under the devil’s captivity? It is time for your deliverance.

If your relationship with your wife is such that she cannot be bold enough to approach you like a friend to discuss marital or family issues, your relationship is not marital. It is a slave-servant relationship. The negative effects of such relationship is in your future. Study Ephesians 5:25-31 and obey God’s word.

As a legally and officially married wife, you are supposed to be a wife to your husband and not a knife. You are supposed to be a helper and not a misfortune.

”And the Lord God said: “It is not good that a man should be alone; I will make him a HELPER comparable to him” (Genesis 2:18).

If you are not worried enough to almost blame yourself for the fact that your husband has been going down financially since he married you rather than making progress, you are a suspect. Examine your personal prayer life, work life and relationship. You are in his life to help him. Are you actually helping?

For instance, there is no food in the house because he lost his job or business. Children’s school fees are not paid. Yet, you have money for expensive dresses and parties. Please, stop maltreating your husband.

Since he married you, you have refused to do anything, except to sit down, waste (not spend) his hard-earned money on frivolities and criticize his ‘poor’ financial performance. Did he commit a crime by ignoring the numerous beautiful and responsible single ladies that existed before he married you? Stop maltreating your husband.

“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything” (Ephesians 5:22-24 KJV).

You are maltreating your husband when you do things without his knowledge as your head. You are building a personal house somewhere for instance, and your husband that you sleep with everyday is not aware. You are in error. You maltreat your husband when he keeps correcting you over a particular act of misconduct and you keep repeating it.

You maltreat your husband when you do things to destroy his church ministry because you claim he was not a clergy when you married him. Yes! The voodoo priest who burnt down his shrine suddenly and embraced Christ, to the extent  of enrolling in Bible School and becoming a clergy, did not plan all these before he married his wife. In other words, God decides when to arrest a man and use him. No one has control over that. You do not. Yes, we know that there are so many so-called men of God who called themselves into church ministry and claimed that God called them. Is your husband one of them? Even if your answer is yes, that still does not change the fact that he is your husband.

If you make your parents or siblings disrespect your husband, you are not only maltreating him. You are digging a grave for your marital happiness.

If you are a wife that intimidates your husband to the extent that he says yes to your every opinion or suggestion just for peace to reign, you neither have a marriage nor a home. You are living in a dangerous assumption. There are no two captains in one ship. He is your head. Anything that has two heads is a monster. Don’t make your family a monster. Talk to your husband with respect before children and in public.

“Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of
spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life” (Proverbs 31:10-12).

“Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land” (Proverbs 31:23). You maltreat your husband when you display mental insecurity. Maybe you are married to a public figure like politician, actor or pastor. For every beautiful lady that comes around your husband for business, your heart is panting. You keep suspecting every female church member that comes around your pastor-husband for prayers. My dear, don’t kill yourself with unnecessary heart aches. You need deliverance from mental insecurity and lack of trust. You are just an embarrassment to your husband. It is true that there are many ‘unfaithful’ men around but I want to presume you married a ‘husband’ and not just a ‘man’. These are two different things.

You maltreat your husband when he has to eat out because he is not sure there will be cooked food to eat when he gets home despite that fact that he released feeding money.

You maltreat your husband when you insist that no relative of his, including his parents should be helped financially or even visit your house. If they did not give birth to him and nurture him, would you have had such a God-fearing husband that has not killed you in your prime?

You are maltreating your husband when you are hardly available for him and the children in the name of attending church programmes and vigils. When you fail to live up to your marital responsibilities, you are God’s enemy especially when you are operating without your husband’s approval. Religious ignorance is a disease.

Because God instructs a man to love his wife, your husband has been doing everything to prove to you that he loves you. The more efforts he puts into this, the less you appreciate his efforts. Are you one of those wives who deny her husband access to your body for sexual pleasure? You are a wicked wife and you need to repent from your sins.

“God judgeth the righteous, and God is angry with the wicked every day” (Psalm 7:11).

Whether you are a husband or a wife, stop maltreating your spouse so that your marital joy will be full. Stop this maltreatment and your marriage will become a testimony in Jesus name.

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