Over the years, the level of wickedness and self-centredness in our society has grown consistently. This is because the quality of love has dropped drastically, resulting in a general drop in the quality of life and the sweetness it is supposed to offer.
For instance, the quality of most automobile vehicles and electronics that initially had rods and iron as their bodies and parts, has retarded to plastics. What about the quality of nylons, pharmaceutical drugs, service to God, service to humanity and so on?
So, let no one complain that the quality of love has dropped. What we should do individually is to always examine our ways and ensure first, that the quality of love and selflessness that we posses and do offer, meets up with God’s required standards and expectations. Secondly, we must ensure that we do offer the good we have, for the betterment of humanity and society.
Now, if we agree that the quality of love that many have to offer has dropped, we should not be surprised that marriages are not working. No marriage works without genuine commitment to marital vow, selflessness and love. There is no way divorce rate will not increase if love is being played down on. A popular orator once said that “there cannot be peace until the power of love becomes stronger than the love for power.” Even Jesus Christ said: “Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of many will grow cold” (Matthew 24:12). So, it is equally a fulfilment of Bible prophecy.
1. DON’T DROP BIBLE STANDARDS FOR NEW WORLD ORDER: (Romans 12:2) Civilization and advancement in technology, including the global village concept and the internet, have continued to brainwash people, many of who are daily, being convinced that good has become evil and evil has become good virtue. We now live in a world where people love things and use people instead of using things and loving people. If you want to enjoy marriage, you must respect the word of God above any individual’s information from your technological devices and the social media.
2. PERCEIVE MARRIAGE CORRECTLY: Today, very many couples are not enjoying their marriages because their perception of marriage is wrong. Marriage is more about love, responsibility and commitment. Love is more about what you can give than what you can get. UNTIL YOU BEGIN TO FOCUS ON WHAT YOU CAN OFFER IN A MARITAL RELATIONSHIP RATHER THAN WHAT YOU STAND TO RECEIVE, YOU CAN NEVER ENJOY MARRIAGE. If you currently seem to be enjoying one, where you only receive rather than give, you are sitting on a time bomb. Go and write it down.
You are supposed to enjoy your marital relationship. What you should do is to offer your best as prescribed by the Holy Bible. When you receive, let it appear as a surprise. It is when you perceive what you receive in a relationship as an entitlement, that is where frustration, disappointment, regrets and conflicts set in. May all these evils be far from you in Jesus name!
Your legally married spouse is your responsibility and not your business partner, colleague or mere roommate. Don’t give conditions for sexual relationship with your spouse. You will keep having issues. Don’t hold back the funds that can help your happiness in the home, because your spouse whose responsibility it is to provide the fund, cannot afford it for cogent reasons. Don’t count the number of offenses your spouse has committed against you and the number of forgiveness you have offered. If you do, you will suffer emotional torture.
“Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother who sins against me? Up to seven times? Jesus answered, I tell you, not just seven times, but seventy-seven times!” (Matthew 18:21-22).
3. OFFER LOVE & CARE: Everyone in this world, including the worse terrorist desires love and care. When you give love and care to your spouse without expecting a payback, you will reduce the chances of heart aches and heartbreaks. You should only review your offers if it attracts security threat or life threat. For instance, if giving him money amounts to his getting drunk with alcoholic drinks and falling inside street gutters, or giving you physical assault, or bringing strangers as friends into the house, be wise.
In fact, you cannot get marriage right without being guided by the word of God, who initiated the idea of marriage. You can hardly know a thing better than the creator of that thing. A personal relationship with the Holy Spirit to “teach you all things” is necessary. Jesus said: “…for without me, you can do nothing” (John 15:5).
When you surrender your heart to Jesus Christ and he possesses it, your mind will be renewed and cleansed of all wrong mindsets that motivate most of your wrong actions.
“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then, you will be able to discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God (Romans 12:2).
4. WORK BY GOD’S RULES: If you want to enjoy marriage, take time to study God’s expectations concerning marriage and begin to perceive marriage correctly. Remember he is the founder. Prayerfully, give and give without expecting. You will enjoy peace. The truth about love and giving is that you can give even without loving but you can never love without giving. Giving is a major evidence of selflessness. Give your time, energy, money and self to your legally married spouse.
5. UNDERSTANDING & PATIENCE: “Good UNDERSTANDING GAINS FAVOUR but the way of the UNFAITHFUL is HARD. Every prudent man acts with knowledge but a fool lays open his folly” (Proverbs 13:15-16).
Today, many people love marriage but are not interested in heavenly information on the subject. Meanwhile, marriage is an idea from above. It is not man’s idea. That is why the Bible says “lean not on your own understanding”. Why? Your understanding is limited. The total package is above. If you are single and intend to have a joyful marriage but you are not interested in reading marriage books, attending marriage seminars or even interacting with the married, to gather experiences, you are deceiving yourself. You don’t even want to know what the Bible says about marriage? Sorry!
MISUNDERSTANDING in marriage means that someone “missed to understand.” So, when there is a conflict in a premarital or marital relationship, what is needed is that each party should seek to understand the other party rather than embark on blame game.
If you are not a patient person, do not bother to marry anybody because marriage requires a lot of patience. If you are already an impatient married person, make patience your key prayer point and desire. Your marriage will succeed. The Holy Spirit offers patience.
Meanwhile, you can place an order for a copy of the book, MAKING YOUR MARRIAGE WORK by Albinus Chiedu. I believe it will help you and your marriage shall be a blessing and a testimony in Jesus name.
FOR QUESTIONS, PRAYERS, COUNSEL, CONTACT
Pastor Chiedu Albinus