If your marriage is in crisis, there is a tendency for you to see couples whose marriages are working, wonder what magic is involved, especially when you think such couples do not posses the capacities that you think you possess that ought to make a marriage work.
The difference is that in most cases, such couples have obtained the grace for marital success which you can equally obtain.
Firstly, what is grace? Google dictionary defines grace as “smoothness and elegance of movement and courteous goodwill.” Christians have defined grace as “unmerited favour from God.” Since this favour is unmerited, it implies that this favour is based strictly on God’s mercy. To attract this divine mercy that ushers in grace therefore, you have a lot of responsibilities. Irrespective of the challenges you may be facing in your marriage, you can obtain grace to make it a success. How do I know?
“For the grace of God that bringeth salvation hath appeared to all men” (Titus 2:11).
Marital failure is not in God’s plan. So, he gives grace for the success to you, along with the marriage. However, the grace though available, is only being accessed by those who do so. How can you obtain grace for marital success? The first journey into obtaining this grace is to UNDERSTAND and BELIEVE that your marriage can never work without involving Jesus Christ. If you rely on your power, limited knowledge and understanding, you can’t have a marital success.
“For by grace are you saved through faith; and that not of yourselves. It is the gift of God; not of works lest any man should boast” (Ephesians 2:8-9).
“Trust in the Lord with ALL YOUR HEART and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge him and he shall direct your path” (Proverbs 3:5-6)
Why does God say you should not lean on your own understanding? It is because your understanding forever remains limited before his WILL and words. This explains for instance, why Professors of economics project economic boom and yet, economic doom continues. Every man’s understanding is limited in every matter. It is only God that is All-Knowing. So, the more you know about God and his word concerning a thing and apply them, the more you obtain and enjoy grace concerning that thing.
Therefore, to enjoy grace for marital success, you must seek to “grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and saviour, Jesus Christ” (2nd Peter 3:18).
“But without faith, it is impossible to please him, for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him” (Hebrews 11:6)
If you do not believe in God and his grace in marriage, you cannot enjoy his reward of grace for a successful marital relationship.
Another thing you must do to obtain grace for a successful marriage is to humble yourself before God and your partner.
“…God resisteth the proud and giveth grace to the humble. Humble yourselves therefore, under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time” (1st Peter 5:5-6).
To obtain grace for marital success, you need to be selfless. It is selflessness that produces humility. If you are full of yourself, you are God’s enemy because you are proud. Humility is not thinking less of yourself. It is thinking of yourself less.
As a husband, you must be humble enough to consider the feelings of your wife on certain matters. If you are a husband that no one can correct or counsel, you are dangerous to yourself, your family and the entire society. A husband that is too big for a godly advice, even when it is coming from his wife, does not deserve a humble wife.
This does not however, give any wife the freedom to disrespect her husband. In Genesis chapter 2, God created man. Then, he discovered that man was alone and said it was not good. So, he created the woman to help the man. The man is the head of the woman.
God expects permanent submission from the husband to God’s control and authority and a permanent submission from the wife to her husband. Therefore, just as it is the duty of an employee to understand the employer’s expectations and live up to it, it is the duty of the wife to seek to understand her own husband, his vision and destination in order to assist her husband to actualize it.
As a wife, you are not in your marriage to lord over your husband or order him on what to do. You are there to help him by offering suggestions respectfully on how to succeed and submitting to his leadership of the home. If you leave your God-assigned responsibility or position to take his own, the grace for marital success will not be available. Forget what human rights advocates and other anti-Bible people are telling you out there.
“Submitting yourselves to one another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the church, and gave himself for it. That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word. That he might present it to himself, a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hateth his own flesh, but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church” (Ephesians 5:21-29 KJV).
The challenge with most marriages is that people are resisting God’s definition of marriage. Naturally, a man loves the God that he serves and the wife below that serves him. This is God’s order. When you as a wife, decide or attempt to break this order, the grace for marital success disappears.
The first element of beauty of a wife to any husband is submission and obedience. Once this is missing, the beauty of such wife disappears. He no longer sees your beautiful hair do, your beautiful dress or your sweet food. Even your gift to him on his birthday may be rejected. His attention for you begins to wear out and the grace for marital success disappears because of frustration. May you not frustrate the grace of God in your marriage in Jesus name (Galatians 2:21).
Maltreating or physically assaulting your spouse must be avoided to obtain grace for marital success. As a matter of fact, your prayer to God as a married person can be hindered because of marital conflict.
“For after this manner in the old time, the holy women also. Who trusted in God, adorned themselves being in subjection unto their own husbands. Even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord; whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement; likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, THAT YOUR PRAYERS BE NOT HINDETRED” (1st Peter 3:5-7).
There are several kinds of marriages that the grace of God does not cover, except the grace is obtained or God offers mercy. If your marriage was conducted in your absence and dowry or bride price was paid, you may not be aware of demonic sacrifices that could have been made on your behalf. In this case, you need to ask questions and the blood of Jesus that speaketh better things than the blood of Abel has capacity to break or nullify whatever evil pronouncements had been made against your marriage.
If your marriage to your spouse involved a blood covenant in which you cut yourselves and drank each other’s blood, your union needs deliverance and you can be saved by grace through faith.
If satanic agents or spiritualists were consulted before decisions were made concerning your marriage, you need to seek divine grace. If your marriage got contracted based on demonic prophecy or you were brought together by a false prophet or an occultic seer, you need to obtain divine grace to cover that relationship
If your marriage was contracted out of any form of personal fears, coercion from your spouse or your spouse’s relatives, that marriage requires grace to survive.
If you got married out of parental pressure or any form of pressure with the absence of love, divine grace and mercy are required for your marital success. If you are married to an unbeliever, your marriage needs the grace of God to enjoy peace.
Examples of marital relationships that require God’s grace to survive are just too many and cannot be exhausted here. But there is a solution.
The truth is that you cannot be guaranteed obtaining grace for successful marriage without first, gaining entitlement to obtain such grace. If you are yet to surrender your heart for Jesus Christ to possess, you are still very far. By this time yesterday, God knew that by this time today, you will be reading this write-up, receiving this message. You may wish to surrender your heart to Jesus right now.
Say this prayer from your heart: “Lord Jesus! I come to you as I am. Please, forgive me my sins. Wash me with your precious blood. I confess you Jesus Christ as my Lord and saviour. Grant me the grace to succeed in marriage. Thank you for taking over my life in Jesus name. Amen! Congratulations!
Now, receive the grace for a crisis free marital relationship in Jesus name.
FOR PRAYERS, COUNSEL, CONTACT
Pastor Albinus Chiedu
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