Are you one of those who have come to perceive your spouse as a devil just a few years after marriage?
Some years ago when you met, your current spouse (or the one you pushed away) was a darling indeed. Your then fiancée or fiancé did just whatever you wished and you acted the same way. Your wish was his or her command. You could not sleep without speaking on phone (if it was post mobile-phone period). You cherished hanging out with him or her. Life with the person was just fun. You were ready to sacrifice anything to make him or her happy. The person had brought a long desired peace into your life suddenly.
Of particular importance was the fact that this person sponsored your education, helped you get a job, made your family happier, comfortable, gave you economic empowerment or helped you acquire a skill. The person picked you up from the gutter financially and made you a palace occupant, restored your lost self esteem or gave you a non-existent one. Maybe he or she gave you children, a lacked care and love or gave you hope and courage to move beyond your premarital financial, social, spiritual or psychological status.
Today, for whatever reasons, you are wishing you never married this person. You are even blaming all your perceived failures in life on this person. You have forgotten your spouse’s contributions to your personal development years ago. You have forgotten anything positive about your spouse.
My dear, you are in error. Forgetting the good that your spouse has done to your life is an error.
“But beloved, we are persuaded better things of you, and THINGS THAT ACCOMPANY SALVATION, though we thus speak. For GOD IS NOT UNRIGHTEOUS TO FORGET YOUR WORK AND LABOUR OF LOVE, WHICH YOU HAVE SHEWED toward his name in that ye have ministered to the saints and do minister” (Hebrews 6:9-10).
“God is not unrighteous to forget” means that forgetting good deed that was done to you by someone is an act of unrighteousness. Forgetting the good deed that your spouse has done to your life and destiny is an act of unrighteousness.
The work and labour of love that your spouse has offered to your life must always be remembered to renew your passion for your spouse. Forgetting those good deeds is an act of unrighteousness. This explains why the Bible talks about God remembering people because of their good works. For instance, God remembered Abraham because of his display of faith, counted unto him for righteousness. God remembered dead Dorcas for her good works and Jesus brought her back to life based on mercy, after testimonies from people she blessed while alive.
My brother! My sister! I want you to recall all the good works and labour of love that your spouse has offered to your life. You have to constantly do so because it is part of the “THINGS THAT ACCOMPANY SALVATION” (if you are or claim to be born again). You are not permitted to forget about your spouse’s good works.
There are actually things that you are permitted to forget about your spouse. Every act of your spouse that upset you since you married him or her must be forgiven. After forgiveness, efforts should be made to forget offenses. This is what makes any marriage work.
“Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Till seven times? Jesus said unto him, I say not unto thee, until seven times: But until seventy times seven” (Matthew 18:21-22).
“So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses” (Matthew 18:35).
“But if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses” (Matthew 6:14-15).
“Submitting yourselves to one another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the church, and gave himself for it. That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word. That he might present it to himself, a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hateth his own flesh, but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church” (Ephesians 5:21-29 KJV).
Forgetting the positive contributions of your spouse to whatever good personality you have become today is an act of unrighteousness. So, don’t ever forget the blessings that your spouse has brought to your life, your history, your destiny, your character, your personality.
You can place an order for a copy of the book, MAKING YOUR MARRIAGE WORK.
Your marriage shall be a blessing and a testimony in Jesus name.
FOR PRAYERS, COUNSEL, CONTACT
Pastor Albinus Chiedu
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