Today, many people facing marital challenges re ignorantly blaming God for their plight without complying with the provisions of the marriage operating manual.
Marriage is not man’s idea. It was a creation of God in Genesis chapter 2. After originating marriage, God provided the rules of engagement in the Holy Bible, the word of God. Every brand new car comes with a manufacturer’s manual. Any attempt to operate the car outside the guidelines of the manual can create problems. In the same vein, any attempt to operate marriage outside the provisions of the word of God leaves you with a marital crisis to contend with.
God is God and remains God forever. There are certain things he can never do in your marriage.
- GOD CANNOT LIE: “God is not a man that he should lie; neither the son of man that he should repent; hath he said and shall he not do it? Or hath he spoken and shall he not make it good?” (Numbers 23:19).
“God judgeth the righteous and God is angry with the wicked everyday” (Psalm 7:11).
If you are living in the sin of deceiving people that you will marry them without any plans to do so, you are God’s enemy because God says he is angry with such wickedness and cannot lie.
If you are an expert in rape or taking sexual advantage of vulnerable people of the opposite sex in the name of relationship, get ready for God’s wrath because God says he is angry with the such wickedness and cannot lie.
God said: “Observe and hear these words which I command thee that it may go well with thee and with thy children after thee forever, when thou doest that which is good and right in the sight of the Lord thy God” (Deuteronomy 12:28).
This means that everything you do in marital relationship has trans-generational implications. If you are an expert in getting ladies pregnant all over the place, without any marital commitment and follow-up plans, you have a future of crisis. The abandoned children will later look for their father in anger to deal with him for living a reckless life that lacked self control. They may want to punish him for his irresponsibility. They may later come jostling for properties you might have toiled for all through the years to sell them off overnight. They may turn out to be criminals, bearing your name and at old age, instead of a peaceful work retirement, police cases, court cases and different forms of crisis may emerge. May this not be your portion in Jesus name. You can only claim this prayer if you observe, hear and obey the commandments of God “that it may go well with thee and with thy children after thee forever.”
This equally applies to you if you are a lady that is getting pregnant for men and abandoning the children. God cannot lie. He will always do what he says he will do, which is judging the righteous and venting anger on the wicked everyday.
God cannot lie. He said: “So shall my word be that goeth out of my mouth; it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereunto I sent it” (Isaiah 55:11).
As many that violate God’s instructions concerning premarital sex, concerning adultery, concerning love and forgiveness, concerning deceit and cheating of your spouse, concerning children’s upbringing and other marital issues, they are enemies of God and are bound to have marital problems because God cannot lie.
- GOD CANNOT CHANGE: “For I am the Lord. I changeth not…” (Malachi 3:6). God can never change because of anybody’s marriage, personality or opinion. Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever” (Hebrews 13:8).
Are you dying secretly in your marital relationship because you are not willing to share that challenge with anyone? Do you avoid pastors, counsellor and priests in this matter because you feel all they have to offer you is what God says in the Bible?
“The words of the Lord are pure words; as silver tried in a furnace of the earth, purified seven times” (Psalm 12:6).
Do you have a marital challenge and you are running away from anyone that will tell you the Biblical truth you are not willing to hear? My dear! There is no other way your problem can be solved sustainably than the way of Christ.
Jesus says: “I am THE WAY, THE TRUTH and THE LIFE” (John 14:6).
You are facing a marital crisis. Someone is trying to bring in Biblical intervention and you are saying: “Please, keep Bible out of this.”
My goodness! For your information, God and his standard can never change because of you. Jesus Christ and his standard can never change because of you. God the Holy Spirit can never change because of you.
When Saul disobeyed God’s instructions about Amalek, God took away the kingdom of Israel from him despite God’s love. When Ananias and Saphira conspired to lie at the altar of God, they dropped dead, despite God’s love for them. When Moses who spoke with God face to face violated God’s instructions, he was denied access to the land of Canaan that he had worked for all through the years. Their God is the same God that owns you and he cannot change. God is no respecter of persons and cannot change because of you. He remains the same from generation to generation and his word remains the governing authority.
God can never LIE or CHANGE over your marital relationship. God can never change because of you. When Saul disobeyed God’s instructions about Amalek, God took away the kingdom of Israel from him despite God’s love. When Ananias and Saphira conspired to lie at the altar of God, they dropped dead, despite God’s love for them. When Moses who spoke with God face to face violated God’s instructions, he was denied access to the land of Canaan that he had worked for all through the years. Their God is the same God that owns you and he cannot change. God is no respecter of persons and cannot change because of you. He remains the same from generation to generation and his word remains the governing authority.
God’s disposition towards sexual immorality has not and can never change. His instructions on wife’s submission to husband remains the same forever. No human rights agitation or human wisdom can alter God’s instructions. His instructions to husbands to love their wives and otherwise, face hindered answers to prayers cannot change (1st Peter 3:7).
If you have stolen or are about to steal someone’s husband or wife, you are God’s enemy because he has instructed in Exodus 20, “though shalth not steal.”
“He who covers his sins will not prosper, But whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy” (Proverbs 28:13)
Are you looking for justification to divorce your legally married spouse? Sorry! God cannot change because of you. He hates divorce and anyone who does so is covering violence temporarily with a garment (Malachi 2:16). With time, the violence will manifest and catch up with the person.
God can never change just because you are going through stuff in your marital relationship. Instead of deploying your energy towards looking for justification for your anti-God plans, actions or responses to your challenge, why not open up your heart to God’s word and allow him to deal with the situation in his own way, based on his word?
There is no solution to any marital problem outside Jesus Christ because marriage is more of a spiritual phenomenon. Marriage is a great mystery. How do I know this?
“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is A GREAT MYSTERY…”, (Ephesians 5:31-32).
Spiritual problems require spiritual solutions manifested in physical experience and application. You may choose to believe or not believe this truth. It doesn’t change what the truth is. Even when you decide to redefine truth, moving outside God’s perspective, it does not change what the truth is. This is why even when science for instance, has discovered how to convert a man into a woman, it happens. Yet, everyone retains the truth that this man is a man but merely wears attributes of a woman. Jesus Christ is the truth and nothing can change the truth.
Your marital challenge has a solution. The solution is in Jesus Christ. “For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ” (1st Corinthians 3:11).
- GOD CANNOT FAIL: If you have a challenge in your marital relationship, it does not in any way mean that God has failed because it is not possible for him to fail. Nothing takes him by surprise. Your situation could mean that God is saying something that you are not hearing or even listening to. It could mean that God has only allowed the devil to try your faith like he did to Job, just to see your reaction before taking you to designed destination. God is a living and not imagined God. So, he is always saying something through the Holy Spirit. It has been so since Jesus Christ ascended after resurrection. He said:
“But the Helper, the Holy Spirit whom the Father will send in my name, HE WILL TEACH YOU ALL THINGS and bring to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you” (John 14:26).
The question is: “Have you made the Holy Spirit you consultant over life issues? Do you even know him?
For instance, you did not remember God when you made a choice of your course of study in school, the house to rent and settle down, the job you are doing, and so on. Now, just because you want to marry, you are going from church to church, pastor to pastor, prophet to prophet for prayers. You want to ‘use’ the Holy Spirit and dump him? No way!
As a married person, maybe when you were trying to choose a spouse, you did not only avoid God. You avoided Christians, pastors and anybody that had anything to do with the Holy Bible. Now, you are suffering domestic violence, delayed fruit of the womb or some other marital challenge. You are looking for indirect speech from God, disturbing pastors and prayer warriors, and even blaming God for your failures.
God can never fail. He is always speaking to his creatures but many are not listening. When you pray and ask God for something, because he owns you and knows the best for you, his answer is either YES, NO or WAIT. If you have chosen your own path that can fail and gone far on the wrong ladder before remembering God, you can hardly get his endorsement. This is because he owns you and his purpose of sending you into this world must be accomplished at his own terms. This is why a personal relationship with God is a must for everyone.
If you have been accusing God of failing in your marital relationship because of one challenge you have been going through, you need to beg him for forgiveness because God can never fail. Why are things the way they are?
God cannot start failing because of you. Give him his place and you will succeed. For instance, indulging in a physical public fight over someone you think you should marry but discovered that the person is dating someone else, is foolishness. If someone is your wife, she is. She will go to no one else. If someone is your husband, he will marry no one else but you. Nothing can change what God approves. It is not by power or might. When you face such challenge, determining the true position of things can only be done on your knees and not in public show of shame because marriage is a spiritual matter, a great mystery.
If you have been accusing God of failing in your marital relationship because of one challenge you have been going through, you need to beg him for forgiveness because God can never fail.
I want you to know that people have gone through worse challenges and God delivered them. The same God can deliver you because he is God of mercy. He knows that you have capacity to hang on in your faith and surmount this challenge. That is why he allowed it to come your way. If it were some other weaker person, perhaps, the person could have even committed suicide but not you. You are too loaded with God’s strength and so, cannot give up.
“No temptation has taken you but such as is common to man, but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above what ye are able; but with the temptation also, make a way to escape that ye may be able to bear it” (1st Corinthians 10:13).
The God in heaven is not a wicked or unjust God. If you have a challenge, what you need to ask at each point is: “My God! What are you saying?” Seek his face and listen to his word. You will get divine direction.
“Call upon me in the day of trouble. I will deliver thee and thou shalt glorify me” (Psalm 50:15).
Yes. God has said in Proverbs 31 that your husband shall call you blessed. If you think you have met the conditions for being called blessed and your husband is far from doing it, ask the Holy Spirit: “What are you saying?.”
He has said in Psalm 128:3 to you, husband: “Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine, by the sides of thine house; thy children like the olive plants round about the table.”
If this word is yet to come to fulfilment in your marriage, don’t on this basis conclude that God has failed. God can never fail.
As a wife, Proverbs 31:28 says your husband and children shall call you blessed. If it is not happening, check your life. Are you complying with God’s instructions to a Christian mother and wife?
The truth is that God is always speaking about your situation. He may be saying: “Yes. You will have a child but there are things I need you to fix in your character as a couple or as an individual before I release the baby”. Are you listening to his voice? Do you hear him?
He may be saying: “Yes! I have already released your children or baby but delivery will come to physical manifestation at my own appointed time. Are you listening to his voice? Do you discuss with him?
For some, the problem could be wavering spirit, moving from one prayer house to the other, including fetish houses in search of husband or child. A double-minded person can never get anything from God. Let me inform you that at any point that you drop your faith in Christ like Peter did while walking on water, to try the devil’s territory or offer, your heart desire that was released by God from the first day you started praying cancels its journey to you. Whenever you come back to God, the journey starts all over again. This is why you must be immovable as regards your faith in God.
For some, they walk away from their miracle out of impatience. At that point where you give up making love to your wife, describing it as a waste of effort having waited for pregnancy for so long, the coming of the baby gets truncated. At that point when you walk away from that church, having waited for so long for your life partner to come, your life partner walks in and finds you not. Don’t walk away from your miracle. God cannot fail. Seek counsel from the Holy Spirit. He lives, hears, speaks constantly.
Now, you can only consult or discuss issues with someone that you know and accept. If you are yet to surrender your heart to Jesus Christ as Lord over your life, you are still very far from solution to marital issues. In fact, there is no hope for you.
God has never failed since he created the world. He cannot be termed failure just because you have marital challenges. The fact that you have been alive all these years despite your sins and grew up into an adult to imagine getting married, shows that God cannot fail. The fact that you have had a safe delivery of a child in your marriage shows that God is faithful. The fact that you had a female child or children in your marriage shows that God is faithful. The fact that you have celebrated several wedding anniversaries in your marriage shows that God is faithful. The fact that you are healthy, married and alive is evidence that God cannot fail. God never fails in mercy because he is not like man. God can never fail.
There are three things God can never do in your marital relationship. God cannot LIE, CHANGE or FAIL. Invite him to rule over your life and marital relationship today, and your marriage can be a blessing and a testimony in Jesus name.
You can place an order for your copy of the book, MAKING YOUR MARRIAGE WORK by Albinus Chiedu.
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Pastor Albinus Chiedu