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Avoid Foolishness In Marital Relationship

Avoid Foolishness In Marital Relationship

If you call yourself a Christian, it means you have the nature of Jesus Christ, behave like him, obey and do what he says and does. If this does not reflect even in your premarital or marital relationship, it may be foolishness. I didn’t say so. Jesus said so.

“Therefore, whoever hears these sayings of mine and does them, I will liken him to a wise man, who built his house on the rock and the rain descended, the floods came and the winds blew and beat on that house, and it did not fall, for it was founded on the rock. But everyone who hears these sayings of mine, and does not do them, will be like a FOOLISH man who built his house on the sand and the rain descended, the floods came and the winds blew and beat on that house, and it fell and great was its fall” (Matthew 7:24-27).

“Do not be wise in your own eyes. Fear the Lord and depart from evil” (Proverbs 3:7).

Are you currently deceiving one person or the other regarding marital relationship? You may think you are wise; and ungodly people are even applauding you. Your problem is that you are foolish and lack the fear of God. This is why you have remained in the evil act. God says in his word that you should depart from evil.

If you want to succeed in marital relationship, you must avoid foolishness of thinking that every phenomenon ends with the physical. There is a spiritual dimension to your existence. And you must fear your creator.

Today, when counselors refer people to scriptures in marital matters, many accuse their counselors of playing a “holier-than-thou.” They continue in error and encourage themselves with the devil’s lies of “Nobody is perfect.” It is true that salvation is by grace through faith but please, do not join the fools’ gang that assume people remain sinners even after salvation in Christ.

“The FOOL has said in his heart; There is no God. They are corrupt. They have done abominable works. THERE IS NONE WHO DOES GOOD” (Psalm 14:1).

Not all marriages are failing and unreliable, as is suggestively being portrayed by the mass media. Many are working. Don’t deceive yourself. Stop treating your spouse or spouse-to-be like a piece of trash. If you have been doing so, it is foolishness because you lack the fear of God.

Have you been taking your spouse for granted because you feel that “after all, we are married?” Have you been taking your spouse for granted because you feel that as a Christian, he or she has no alternative than to swallow whatever trash you offer? You are being complacent about your marriage and complacency is foolishness. Avoid foolishness in your marital relationship.

“For the turning away of the simple will slay them; And the complacency of FOOLS will destroy them” (Proverbs 1:32).

Marital relationship CAN NEVER succeed without understanding. Misunderstanding means that someone missed to understand. Refusing to understand your spouse or his or her plight, feelings and opinions is foolishness.

For instance, insisting that your wife should not attend self development trainings to improve herself is a refusal to understand that knowledge is power and that God desires that every Christian gets helpful knowledge. Foolishly, you may think you are doing it to stamp your authority as a man. Error!

If you are a wife that is not interested in the details of your husband’s passion or vocation, you are in error. You say: “Well, what is my concern with his official relationships and activities? All I know is that he gives me anything I want. I am okay with that.” Madam! Nobody prays to die the next minute but if it happens that he dies, what do you do?

Today, many widows of late billionaires are suffering with the children unnecessarily because they never bothered to have details of their husband’s wealth-related dealings when he was alive. Even when the man tried to disclose or explain such information, the wife was not interested. It is foolishness to have apathy towards knowledge and information gathering.

“A FOOL has no delight in understanding but in expressing his own heart (Proverbs 18:2).

“…FOOLS hate knowledge” (Proverbs 1:22).

If you do not have interest in seminars on how to improve your premarital or marital relationship, it is foolishness that you may need to do away with. If you do not have interest in reading marriage improvement books or listening to marriage building messages, you are not helping yourself.

“Buy the truth and do not sell it. Also, wisdom and instruction and understanding” (Proverbs 23:23).

As a married person, having sexual intercourse with someone of the opposite sex, who is not officially married to you is adultery. Adultery is a sin and a show of lack of understanding of who God your creator is, and what he can do to you because of that sin.

“Whoever commits adultery with a woman lacks understanding. He who does so destroys his own soul” (Proverbs 6:32).

If you think insulting or intimidating your spouse in public or secret is a thing of pride, you are foolish. Marriage is a glorious engagement and there is nothing glorious about such conduct. Cheating on your spouse is a very shameful thing in case you do not know.  Your iniquitous escapades may leave scar for your lineage in form of children outside wedlock and so on, after you have left this world. This is foolishness.

“The wise shall inherit glory but shame shall be the legacy of FOOLS” (Proverbs 3:35).

If as an unmarried person, you have embraced ungodliness in the name of socialization, you are foolish. Are you involved in fornication or cultism because you want to feel belonged or you are sleeping around with married people for money because you want to be addressed as “happening babe” or “happening guy”? Sorry! You are foolish. You need to avoid foolishness.

If as a married wife, you have refused to submit yourself to your husband or you are taking advantage of the fact that he is overlooking your misconduct in compliance with biblical instructions, you are being foolish. You need to avoid foolishness.

If you are bearing malice with your legally married spouse or have refused to forgive his or her offence, it is foolishness. If you claim to have forgiven your spouse’s offence but keep going back to it in reference, it is foolishness that needs to be avoided.

If you are living with someone as husband or wife, whereas the person is not officially or legally married to you, and you have your own legally married spouse, it is foolishness because you have been carried away by lust.

“For we ourselves were also once FOOLISH, disobedient, deceived, serving various lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful and hating one another. But when the kindness and love of God our saviour toward man appeared, not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy, He saved us…” (Titus 3:3-5).

This means that you need to run to God and cry for salvation from foolishness.

Maybe you were brought up by parents that loved each other and recorded success in marriage for your example but you decide to water down their legacy and make them weep over your marital relationship, you are being foolish.

A wise man makes a glad father but FOOLISH son is the grief of his mother” (Proverbs 10:1).

If as a wife, you spend money on trivialities like clothes and parties, whereas your husband and children cannot afford to feed or pay school fess because he lost his job or has financial challenges, you are being foolish. If you do things to make your children hate or disrespect your husband but love and respect you, you are foolish.

“The wise woman builds her house but the FOOLISH pulls it down with her hands” (Proverbs 14:1).

If you are a wife or husband that likes to show off or tell people that you have arrived, and in the process, talk and talk without considering implications of you talkativeness, you are a fool. Even when you have a conflict with your spouse, beware of the kind of words you utter.

“Wise people store up knowledge, but the mouth of the FOOLISH is near destruction” (Proverbs 10:14).

“For a dream comes through much activity, And a FOOL’s voice is known by many words” (Ecclesiastes 5:3).

If you enjoy maltreating your spouse or making him or her cry, you are being foolish. If you take pleasure in physically, psychologically or emotionally assaulting your spouse, you are a FOOL and lack understanding.

“To do evil is like a sport to a FOOL, but a man of understanding has wisdom” (Proverbs 10:23).

If you enjoy quarreling with your spouse or you are always the one that originates or instigates unnecessary marital conflict, you need to avoid this foolish conduct.

“It is honourable for a man to stop striving, since any FOOL can start a quarrel” (Proverbs 20:23).

If the major fuel of your conflict with your spouse is that you want to fan your ego or you want to display “a whole me” syndrome, you are obsessed with pride. You feel too big to say “I am sorry” and you prefer that the conflict lingers. This is foolishness.

As a husband, your wife gives you advice on how to resolve an issue. You know this advice can solve the problem but because the advice is from your wife, ‘a woman’, you refuse to work with it and leave your family to suffer unnecessarily, especially in financial matters. You need to avoid foolishness.

Are you always boasting to your spouse about who you are, so full of yourself and trying to prove a point through your actions at the expense of peace and joy in marriage?

“In the mouth of a FOOL is the rod of pride but the lips of the wise will preserve them” (Proverbs 14:3).

If you are so arrogant that you do not believe in any elderly biblical counsel on how to improve your marriage, it is foolishness. The same foolishness has given you lack of interest in marriage seminar, counseling classes or marriage books.

An arrogant person does not deserve a humble spouse, especially a person that despises elderly Bible-based counsel.

“A FOOL despises his father’s instruction but he who receives correction is prudent” (Proverbs 15:5).

When as an unmarried person, you keep creating room to repeat the same mistake you made in the past regarding marital relationship, it is foolishness. For instance, you know you cannot share room with an opposite sex without committing fornication, only to regret later. Yet, you keep creating the opportunity to do so. It is foolishness that you must avoid.

As an unmarried lady, a young man never opened his mouth to make any commitment on marriage to you. Yet, you stuck to him for years after which you disengaged. You are involved with a second guy. The same thing happened. You are wasting time again with a third guy, staying for so long without any official commitment. Are you a fool?

As a married person, you know your past mistake that has shaken your marital relationship or a mistake that led you to the sin of adultery. Now, you are walking towards the same dangerous path deliberately. You need to avoid foolishness.

“As a dog returns to his own vomit, so a FOOL repeats his folly” (Proverbs 26:11).

You are treating your spouse like a piece of shit. People are advising you to stop such conduct and you are always arguing to prove that you are on the right path and that you know better than everybody, including God that created you. When they try to redirect you to the Bible’s injunctions concerning marital relationship, you tell them to keep Bible aside. My dear, it looks like you are a hopeless fool.

“Do you see a man wise in his own eyes? There is more hope for a FOOL than for him” (Proverbs 26:12).

When you make any promise to your spouse, God is a witness. In other words, God is involved in your interactions with your spouse but he neither sleeps nor slumbers nor goes on break. If you vow without paying, it is foolishness before God and offends him.

“When you make a vow to God, do not delay to pay it for he has no pleasure in FOOLS. Pay what you have vowed-Better not to vow than to vow and not pay it” (Ecclesiastes 5:4-5).

If you enjoy idleness or you are lazy and leave your spouse to do all the work for you to enjoy, or you are simply unwilling to work, but you are willing to feed regularly and be comfortable, you need to avoid foolishness.

“The FOOL folds his hands and consumes his own flesh (Ecclesiastes 4:5).

Do you exaggerate situations or offences of your spouse? Do you exaggerate what you can do and what you possess financially in your discussions with strangers? It is foolishness that you must avoid.

“A FOOL also multiplies words. No man knows what is to be; who can tell him what will be after him?” (Ecclesiastes 10:14).

If you are a wife that likes to boast to your friends that your husband travels regularly to Dubai, America, London and so on, you are telling them by implication, that your spouse moves around with foreign currency. Don’t express surprise when armed robbers strike.

“The words of a wise man’s (or woman’s) mouth are gracious, but the lips of a FOOL shall swallow him up” (Ecclesiastes 10:12).

If in your marriage, you are living for yourself alone, without caring about what happens to your spouse, you are a self-centred fool and this foolishness needs to be avoided. If you are cheating your spouse or anybody for that matter, in financial matters in order to enrich yourself, it is foolishness. If you have abandoned your marital or parental responsibilities in pursuit of riches for your personal ego, it is foolishness. If you have indulged in ritual killing, using your spouse or child to make money, or you are planning to do so, you are a fool.

“Then, he spoke a parable to them saying: ‘The ground of a certain rich man yielded plentifully, and he thought within himself, saying, ‘What shall I do since I have no room to store my crops? So, he said, ‘I will do this, I will pull down my barns and build greater, and there, I will store all my crops and my goods. And I will say to my soul, Soul, you have many goods laid up for many years. Take your ease. Eat, drink and be merry. But God said to him ‘FOOL. This night, your soul will be required of you. Then, whose will those things be which you have provided. So, he who lays up treasure for himself is not rich towards God” (Luke 12:16-21).

You cannot tell the day that you will go to be with the Lord, neither do you know the moment that Jesus Christ will return as he has promised. So, each day that breaks is another opportunity for you to make efforts to improve your relationship with your spouse and please God. Your failure or refusal to do so is an abuse of opportunity and wastage of God’s precious time he used to preserve and keep you for this purpose.

“Therefore to him that knoweth how to do good and doeth it not, to him it is sin” (James 4:17).

“See then that you work circumspectly not as FOOLS, but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil. Therefore, do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is” (Ephesians 5:15-16).

The acts of foolishness are so easy to detect that no one needs a university education to know a fool.

“Even when a FOOL walks along the way, he lacks wisdom. And he shows everyone that he is a FOOL” (Ecclesiastes 10:3).

A copy of the book, MAKING YOUR MARRIAGE WORK by Albinus Chiedu can help you to avoid foolishness in your premarital or marital relationship. Place an order for your copy and your marriage shall be a blessing and a testimony in Jesus name.


Pastor Albinus Chiedu

Mobile: +234 8038117704

Email: marriagecanwork@yahoo.com

You can place orders for AUDIO CD MESSAGES or SOFT COPY AUDIO MESSAGES that can be sent to you via e-mail

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