There are so many premarital and marital lessons that bachelors and spinsters can learn from the averted premarital relationship scandal in the story of Joseph and Mary, the parents of Jesus Christ.
“An angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take to you, Mary your wife, for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit (Matthew 1:20).
LESSON ONE- Abstinence From Premarital Sex: Mary was a virgin (Luke 1:27), betrothed to Joseph to be her husband. Joseph was a just man (Matthew 1:19). They did not rush to come together and have sex before Mary was found, conceived of the Holy Ghost. The impression that has been created today through the social media and people with warped values, is that from the day a guy and a lady meet and discuss marriage, sexual intercourse follows, without performing marriage rites. This is an error and works against God’s word.
LESSON TWO- The Wooing Responsibility Of Man In Premarital Relationship: When Angel Gabriel came to virgin Mary in Luke 1:26-55, it was all persuasion and wooing. This was necessary because by virtue of the trinity (God the Father, Son and Holy Ghost), God himself was the “MAN” that got Mary pregnant. “…that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit.” The holy trinity is one. See John chapter 1. So, if you are a bachelor, it is your duty to prayerfully pick a single lady you perceive as potential wife and woo her for marriage. That is God’s order. The modern practice of ‘arrangee’ marriage is not of God.
LESSON THREE- Joseph And Mary Ignored Public Opinion For God’s Expectations: It was a big scandal that was averted in this relationship by a divine involvement. First, how could a virgin have delivered a child without the normal chemistry or biological processes of reproduction? Secondly, it was natural for Mary to ask: “as a known virgin and decent girl in this city, how am I going to explain a sudden pregnancy? Who will listen to my story that even listening to myself, it is difficult to believe?”
On the side of Joseph, a known disciplined and just young man, how would he explain sudden pregnancy in his virgin fiancée he had never slept with? This was a serious image crisis. He was contemplating breaking the relationship because of the strange pregnancy that he discovered, when “an angel of the Lord appeared to him (Matthew 1:20).
An angel also appeared to Mary but these appearances were private spiritual matters. Is it easy to convince the public that an angel spoke to you? Despite whatever people thought or would think, Joseph and Mary ignored public opinion and obeyed the voice of God. Can you as a female graduate, company executive ignore public opinion and marry a God-fearing non-graduate young man who is an artisan? Can you as a born again Christian man, ignore public opinion and marry a single mother, an older lady or a known former prostitute who is now born again with evidence of good character?
LESSON FOUR- Only A True Christian Believer Can Flow With A True Christian Believer As Spouse: Assuming one out of Joseph and Mary did not have a personal relationship with God and His Holy Spirit, there would have been a problem in that relationship. Joseph did not need to doubt Mary’s reliability after an angel had spoken to him concerning her and Mary no longer needed to bother about Joseph’s acceptance as wife after discussing with Angel Gabriel. If one of them had been fake, God would have revealed it to the other. This true relationship with God made things easier for both of them.
LESSON FIVE- Importance Of Individual Relationship With The Holy Spirit: The response of both Joseph and Mary to God’s words through the Angel or Holy Spirit, shows that such interaction or communication with God was not strange to them. They had always talked with God as a lifestyle. This was why they eventually enjoyed the correct divine counsel in making marital decision.
The Holy Spirit has been speaking to you on several issues. Have you ever listened to him before taking any decision? If no, how do you now expect an easy flow suddenly in your relationship with the Holy Spirit just because you want to get married? You want to use the Holy Spirit and dump him? No way! At this point, some people start moving from one prayer house, prophet or pastor to the other looking for some ‘Man of God’ instead of seeking the God of Man. Why seek indirect speech from God when you can get a direct speech?
You need to invite Jesus Christ to possess your heart. When this happens, the Holy Spirit which is Christ’s and God’s spirit, is poured out into your flesh. If you invite the Holy Spirit to direct your path, he begins to guide you and this begins to reflect in your godly lifestyle. He becomes your friend with whom you can interact and you hear his voiced counsel on any major decision that you seek his counsel. On marriage, he will guide you correctly (Proverbs 3:5-7). A Sunday-Sunday ceremonial Christianity to fulfil a social status expectation, cannot do this for you.
The strangeness of the voice of the Holy Spirit and the habitual disobedience to God’s voice is responsible for the multiple marital challenges existing today. God’s voice was not strange to Joseph and Mary. So, they were guided correctly in making their choices of life partner.
You need the Holy Spirit to marry correctly. When you allow the helper, the Holy Spirit to take over and guide your decisions, he WILL TEACH YOU ALL THINGS (John 14:26). Marrying correctly is not as impossible as it is being made to look in today’s world. By the grace of God, some of us have done it.
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