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Are You Married But Single?

Are You Married But Single?

The Cambridge Advanced Learner’s Dictionary defines marriage as “a legally accepted relationship between a woman and a man in which they live as husband and wife.”

Christian wedding ceremony seals up this union, expected to last till death of both parties, in a Holy matrimony. The following vow is made by both parties to each other: “I Brother/Sister ABC do accept you, Brother/Sister XYZ as my wife/husband to have and to hold, for better for worse. I will love you in plenty, in poverty, in good health and sickness. I will nurse and honour you according to the will of God till death do us part.”

Marriage implies that both husband and wife are no longer two but have become one. “For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to
his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh” (Matthew 19:5, Ephesians 5:31).

Practically, a married life is not the wedding ceremony but what happens thereafter. Before marriage, a bachelor or spinster lives a life of singleness in most areas of decision making. An unmarried person receives anybody of the opposite sex as visitor with limited restraint and hangs out with anybody of the opposite sex freely. After all, he or she is not married.

An unmarried person could set out to visit a particular place. After spending the period of time intended at that destination, he or she based on impulse, decides to go to somewhere else, and even pass the night there. An unmarried person can keep late nights if he or she feels like doing so.

An unmarried person can embark on a building project or business without consulting anybody except his or her parents. That is, if the person decides to. He or she can decide to acquire a property and manage his or her financial resources the way the person chooses to.

An unmarried person can decide to worship at different places of worship at different Sundays. He or she consults parents on choices of career, job, residential accommodation, property acquisition and many other personal matters.

In filling documents at place of work, bank or some other vital institutions, the person can decide to write the name of any sibling as next-of-kin.

The life of a married person is totally different from that of an unmarried person. If you are married and you still have the living pattern described above, am afraid you are still single. You need a marriage counsellor. Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit can make the difference, even though man can be used. Allow God to take charge.

If you are married and your spouse, with whom you live under the same roof can ALWAYS hardly account for where you are, at any particular time, your marriage is in trouble because you are still single.

If you are married and yet, you feel free to pass the night anywhere at any time without the knowledge of your spouse, you are still living single.

If you are married and you feel free to have sex with someone of the opposite sex that is not your legally married spouse, you do not have a marriage. In fact, you are lost in the sea of destiny confusion. You are under Satan’s captivity and you need deliverance from sin, which only Jesus Christ can offer.

If you are married and you refer to your children as “my children” instead of “our children” each time you are addressing your spouse, you are suggesting that you are still single. If you are married but embark on a personal building project or any project without involving or informing your spouse, you are operating as an unmarried person.

If you are married but it is still your biological parents that determine your choice of residential accommodation and property acquisition, choice of school for your children, and even your choice of next of kin, you are yet to “leave” your parents to “cleave” to your spouse. Therefore, you are still unmarried in your mind, even if you possess the paper called Marriage Certificate.

If you are married but you are not worshipping at the same church with your legally married spouse, you are still operating as a single person, especially when you both live under the same roof. Your spirits may be different. If you find it more pleasurable to spend time with outsiders rather than your spouse, you need counselling.

If your spouse does not know anything about your finances; if he or she neither knows your salary nor ever gets to know whether or not you get paid for the jobs or businesses you do, you are single. For your information, your spouse should have your ATM number because you are both one and not two.

Today, so many people are married but live their lives as if they are still single. You must believe that it is possible for you to have the best marriage (Luke 1:37) For real, are you married?

“Submitting yourselves to one another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the church, and gave himself for it. That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word. That he might present it to himself, a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hateth his own flesh, but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church” (Ephesians 5:21-29 KJV).


Pastor Albinus Chiedu

+234 8038117704


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