Today, we live in a society inundated with marriages that are characterized by numerous problems ranging from domestic violence, rape and separation to divorce.
Yet, most marriage aspirants; young men and ladies deliberately ignore life lessons and godly warnings and deliberately walk into marriages that have obvious possibilities of crashing. All marriage aspirants must note that “there is a way that seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are ways of death” (Proverbs 14:12).
“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your
mind, that by testing, you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect” (Romans 12:2).
If the purpose of a thing is not known, there is every tendency for abuse. There is a tendency to experience problems that are terminal. Why do you want to get married? Now, enough money has entered your bank account. You feel that you now have the capacity to host a lavish wedding ceremony and paint the town red. Is this your only reason for wanting to get married? Sorry. You may just be preparing for a failed marriage. Marriage is beyond the wedding ceremony. What happens thereafter should be your primary concern.
All your mates are getting married and you feel you need to get married too just to prove a point. This is not enough reason for marriage.
Are you planning to marry an organisation rather than an individual? I tell you the truth. You are preparing for a failed marriage. What do I mean? You intend to marry this person not because of the person’s character, but because the person works in a blue chip company. You want to marry a bank, an oil company, or some other organisation. You are on the wrong path.
You have been dating someone and on several occasions, the person has given you reasons not to trust him or her. You know you do not trust the person. Yet, you have gone ahead to introduce the person to your parents as fiancée or fiancé. My dear, you are preparing for a failed marriage.
You are engaged to someone and all your discussions since the relationship started have been centred around the wedding ceremony. There have never been thoughts or discussions about marriage vitals such as joint business investment plans, post-wedding housing accommodation, career plans, anticipated family core values, protection from third party influence management, etc. Look! You are not preparing for a successful marriage. I hope that after wedding, there will not be issues like “I don’t know why my husband does not want me to work or further my education” or “I don’t know why my wife obeys her brothers more than me.”
If you are preparing to marry someone just to appease your parents so that they stop pressurizing you about getting a life partner, you are preparing for a marriage that is very likely to fail.
Do you have a feeling that you have arrived financially with a lot of property ownership and you need to add a woman to the numerous properties you own? Then, you have a wrong perception of what wife means. Wife is different from woman. Your wife is your partner and part of your life. Your wife is not your furniture or your sleepers and therefore should not be perceived or treated that way. Your wife is not just a certain woman. She is your wife. She is going to be the mother of your children; and your children are your future. If you do not have this correct understanding, you are preparing for a failed marriage. Is sexual pleasure and satisfaction your only reason for planning to marry someone? Sorry! You are preparing for a failed marriage. No wonder you are sleeping around and living in sin of fornication. If you make your private part your tool for searching for a life partner, you are VERY likely to end up as either a single prostitute or a heartbroken person or a married adulterer.
A sex-driven relationship is a failure going somewhere to happen. Sex is a very powerful force but is not strong enough to make a relationship work if other critical factors are missing from it. Good sexual performance is not equal to good spouse material. The character of a person cannot be accurately measured or judged by how good or bad he or she is in bed. This relationship is driven by lust. Here, sex becomes a narcotic that deadens you to the real world. Doors on all other areas of your life are closed just to satisfy your lust. When this happens, you are blind and deaf to reason. You bluntly refuse to see the weaknesses and character flaws of your sin partner because the pleasure of sex has taken over your faculty of judgement. This relationship is self-centred and selfish. The moment sexual pleasure ceases, the relationship crumbles. If your partner sees another person who could possibly perform better than you in bed, he or she will dump you. All he or she knows about you is how good you are in bed. That is the criteria by which he measures your person. Your worth as a human being should be measured by the universal values of honesty, integrity, love, vision, diligence, among others. Judging you by your sexual ability reduces you to the level of a prostitute.
What am I saying here? If at all you want to marry, marry correctly. Marry the right person, following a godly procedure. Do not jump or rush into a marriage that will definitely fail. You could also register for our Marriage Preparatory programme in Lagos. It will help you.
Your marriage shall be a testimony in Jesus name. Amen.
FOR COUNSEL, PRAYERS, CONTACT:
Pastor Albinus Chiedu