Home BlogOn Sex, Christian Marriage Is Freedom, Not Bondage
On Sex, Christian Marriage Is Freedom, Not Bondage

On Sex, Christian Marriage Is Freedom, Not Bondage

The natural and advisory marriage counselling market featuring your mother, father, anties, uncles and your community, has been broken by the concept of global village and advancements in technology. As a result, those who ought to be under parentage and tutelage are now part of advisers. This is part of the social diseases that currently exist.

For instance, a teenager who has delivered a child outside wedlock to a stranger that she met on social media has gotten her entire destiny messed up by social media influence and addiction. Because of social media channel availability, she is now teaching older unmarried people why they should forget about marriage and get pregnant for just any man, because they do not necessarily need men as husbands, while they need to retain their independence and freedom. Many are buying this lie from a failure, who has out of frustration, turned her unfortunate predicament into a doctrine. But who can regulate the social media?

This example is one of the few cultural prisons that technological advancements and modernization have to offer. But, that is fine. Everything that has advantages has its disadvantage. The advisory committee of disciplined aunties, uncles and biological parents has been pushed to the background. We now have internet, mobile phones and tablets as preferred advisers.

The truth is that there is no counsel that can make a marriage work if it is not backed by God’s word in the scripture.

Today, many married men, including acclaimed Christians are still under the bondage of ungodly cultural orientation. This is why a married man will not open up to his wife about his true financial status to enable exchange of ideas because it is perceived that a woman has nothing good to offer. The entire family is then left to suffer unnecessarily.

A man cannot walk in public, holding his wife close to himself for fear of being tagged ‘woman wrapper’. Because of this, he cannot open the door for his pregnant wife or cook for the entire family to assist the wife when she is obviously sick or tired.

The cultural monster in our society is fast distorting acceptable standards and eventually, deceiving victims. Most single young men are now looking for financially loaded women to marry them, instead of they, marrying women as recommended by scriptures. They are ignorant enough, not to still understand that marital success and joy is beyond mammon (money) abundance. Many people have bought the lie that once there is money, marriage will work. I still ask them: “Why are billionaire couples divorcing everyday?” There are many weightier issues involved in marital relationship than money.

Besides, the economic challenges that are being projected as excuse for standards distortion cannot stand God’s test.

“Forever, Oh Lord, your word is settled in heaven” (Psalm 119:89)

Heaven and earth will pass awaybut my words will by no means pass away” (Matthew 24:35)

The word of God is stronger and more important than our society’s cultural monster. Jesus Christ is a superior culture that offers liberation rather than bondage. Culture is a way of life of a people. Right? Jesus Christ is a better way

“Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me” (John 14:6).

If you are in a Christian marriage, please, loosen up and enjoy your marriage because Jesus Christ and his nature has become your lifestyle, your culture.

Our counselling and research experience shows that over 70% of marital issues are sex-related and over 75% of women do not reach orgasm with penetration alone in their sexual relationship with legally married husbands.

A married woman that is not achieving orgasm with her husband is in most cases, like a gun powder waiting to explode. This is a challenge that simple, deliberate and sincere discussion with husband, as well as adaptation to more pleasurable styles and sex approach can solve.

The truth is that most married men do not know how to satisfy their wives sexually. They are either ignorant about foreplay or lack patience for it and because of cultural bondage, situation is worsened by the fact that they do not know and do not accept the fact that they do not know.

Secondly, economic and financial needs are taking men’s attention from romance and there is no way a man can fulfil his wife’s emotional needs without romance or being romantic.

There are so many couples that have denied or are denying themselves the full benefits of marriage as regards sex because of cultural orientation and ignorance. The liberation that Christ’s salvation gives to mankind includes the liberty of fully enjoying the benefits of the marital union. God is a witness to your marital vow at the altar and so, cannot frown at your full consummation of your marriage covenant as long as actions are taken based on agreement of the couple, and in compliance with scriptural injunctions.

Many married women are not getting sexual satisfaction from their husbands and because of cultural constraints, they dare not utter such complaints for fear of being tagged prostitutes, even by their own husbands. Many have suffered like this for several years.

For some women, even when they get to know what to do and attempt to teach their husbands, the man is resistant to his wife’s new information on sexual methods. Some men even go into suspicion and unfounded allegations. So, some wives simply keep quiet and suffer silently.

For goodness sake! A married man and his wife in a Christian marriage are supposed to be bonded and one-minded. What we see is that eventually, either the wife or husband begins to cheat because he or she feels it is easier to have sex with an outsider without necessarily communicating. This is how cultural bondage has pushed many Christian couples from God’s kingdom into the devil’s camp. They are now under captivity of the kingdom of darkness, and the father of all liars (John 8:44) has told them that their sexual life problem has been solved as things stand. Stop deceiving yourself.

It is wrong for a married Christian man to be begging his wife for sex but the woman sometimes, has lost interest, possibly because the man is ignorant about how to make love and the woman is dying quietly. If you are one of such men, please, do a research study and learn about sexuality to subdue your ignorance in order to save your marriage.

Are you the wife that simply dumps your body like a log of wood when it is time for matrimonial responsibilities because your mum or upbringing thought you that a woman should not make sexual moves? Well, that was before your marriage. You are married now and for your information, many ladies out there will be too glad to make the sexual moves you have refused to make towards your husband. If you do not want to lose him to them, you need to change.

Are you still living under the illusion that: “After all, I am married to him. He cannot go to another lady?” My dear, Satan is still going to and fro, looking for whom he may devour. Do not expose your marriage to him.  I beg you. If you are one of such wives, please, do a research study and learn about sexuality in marriage to subdue your ignorance in order to save your marriage.

If you are a husband or wife currently going through any of the challenges identified above, there is a solution in communication or discussion. Your business or office job cannot be done without spending hours with colleagues for business meetings, discussions and exchange of ideas on how to succeed. Remember that your job or business is a temporary thing that you can dump, change or even be sacked from. But your marriage is a lifetime contract. Your marriage is a more serious business that involved your creator in the wedding covenant. It affects your destiny. You therefore, need longer meetings and discussions with your spouse on this serious business of marriage, including the critical subject called sex.

Your spouse is not your grandfather or grandmother. He or she wants to enjoy sex the way the modern noodles generation enjoy it.

Many ungodly solutions to sexual satisfaction have been evolved of recent but they can never solve the problem. Rather, some of them take you far from God and spirituality.

Sex toys can never replace romance. It is romance that satisfies emotional needs. No machine can do it for you.

Masturbation is a spiritual problem in the sense that it involves you always going back to what you hate doing. Each time you finish doing it, you regret it, except if your conscience is dead or your heart has become reprobate and disconnected from Christ and spirituality.

“For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do” (Romans 7:15 KJV).

“I keep on doing the evil I do not want to do. For the good that I would, I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do”

Masturbation affects one’s entire life, vision and goal. It is time-wasting, distracts destiny and creates loss of focus each time you indulge in it.

As for you who denies your spouse pleasure and keeps him or her under pressure to commit sin, “Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self control” (1st Corinthians 7:3-5).

“Jesus said to his disciples: Things that cause people to sin are bound to come, but woe to that person through whom they come” (Luke 17:1 NIV).

“And if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a large millstone tied around his neck” (Mark 9:42 NIV)

My dear husband and wife, enjoy the riches in Christ Jesus as regards marital benefits. Live your marital life to the fullest. Enjoy the freedom that Jesus Christ died to give us. Communicate more with each other, on any issue including sex matters. You are free. Don’t take yourself back to cultural bondage after Christ has set you free. Enjoy your sexual life.

Your marriage shall be a blessing and a testimony in Jesus name. Amen.

FOR COUNSEL, PRAYERS, CONTACT:

Pastor Albinus Chiedu

Mobile: +234 8038117704

marriagecanwork@yahoo.com

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