According to the Oxford Advanced Learners’ Dictionary, the word, ‘stingy’ means, “unwilling to spend money.” Stinginess is not about how much you have or do not have. It is about your willingness or ability to give from whatever you have.
Marriage or marital relationship is about sharing and caring. Marriage means sharing your poverty or prosperity, your lack or abundance, your successes and failures and your joyful moments and pains together. This kind of sharing is a product of true love. This kind of love is the love that is founded on Christ Jesus.
Jesus Christ said: “If you love me, keep my commandments” (John 14:15).
What is his commandment? Love. So, it is only in that effort under his grace (because without him, you can do nothing -John 15:5) that you can even unconsciously achieve the kind of sharing that makes your marital relationship sweet. Sharing is driven by true love. When it is there, stinginess does not exist because self-centredness is dead.
It is a terrible thing to marry a stingy person. But how can you identify a stingy person in courtship?
A guy who never thinks of buying anything for you just because you don’t bother to ask him, is not your suitor; especially when you know that he can afford to buy you things. When he gets used to this, it might be difficult for him to give you anything after wedding. Although, he might boast to his friends that: “I like my fiancée because she does not bother me with demands.” Someone with this mindset is not a good husband material.
Another indication of a stingy person is someone who does not care about his or her parents or siblings, even when the person is in a position to show them adequate care. You may hear lame excuses like “after all, I am not the first or eldest child.”
He or she knows that the first child lacks the financial capacity to assist other members of the family and that he or she is capable of sharing and caring. The person might even be a great donor in church and earn a lot of popularity in the city, while his or her parents and relatives languish in hunger. The problem is actually lack of love, which has produced self-centredness and stinginess.
You can be sure that this person is not likely to take care of you as a spouse who has only come to join the family after decades of his or her relationship with relatives that have not enjoyed his or her care.
Even though you are in a financial position to give your partner whatever he or she wants in life, once in a while, you can demand from your fiancée or fiancé, something you know that he or she can afford to give you effortlessly. This is just to test how freely or difficult it is for the person to share with you.
As a guy, if the lady you are dating never thinks of buying a gift for you because you are well to do, and she claims she has given her heart to you, there is a problem.
If a relative of yours has a financial or health challenge and the person you call your spouse-to-be never makes any contribution towards search for solution, the person is not your spouse. Contribution here can be idea, suggestion, prayers, money, action, time, etc. A stingy or self-centred person is not a marriage material.
Your love MUST produce giving like the love of Jesus that produced the giving of his live (John 3:16). That giving is a major evidence. Giving or contribution may not be in cash. Washing his car and clothes when you visit is a contribution. Praying for her mum and siblings when you visit is a contribution. You must give something. Marriage is about giving, sharing and caring.
There is nothing wrong in marrying a financially poor person who is obviously on his way to prosperity. You should marry someone who may be poor in pocket but not poor in mind. It is very unacceptable to marry a poor person who cannot share the little he or she has with a life partner, especially when the person is working, or receiving legitimate income from somewhere.
When someone does not have much but is always willing to share the little the person has, and is hardworking, the person is responsible. You can see that even though the person’s beginning is small, the person’s end shall greatly increase. You will not regret marrying such person. If you marry a ‘Me, Myself and I’ person, you are in trouble.
If you have someone who hardly questions source of your increased spending on him/her, that person is a selfish and stingy person, dangerous to marry.
There are so many dangers in marrying a stingy person. A stingy man never cares about the health of his spouse and children, provided he gets sexual satisfaction and food on his table whenever he needs them. This is a problem to his family and the marital institution.
When a man is stingy, wife could go into adultery, just to make ends meet. Most married women involved in extra-marital affairs, do so just to meet the needs of their family. Sometimes, the husband of such women are not poor people. They are just stingy. Some spend on strange women outside. This is the handwork of the devil. If you are such a man, you are an enemy of God. Stop working for Satan.
If as a woman, you are involved, please note that adultery is a partnership with Satan towards destruction; a journey to hell fire, which must be discouraged. Nobody is applauding you.
Sir, Ma, surrender your heart to Jesus today.
FOR PRAYERS, COUNSEL, CONTACT:
Pastor Albinus Chiedu