Home BlogHow To Know You Are Deceiving Yourself In Premarital Relationship
How To Know You Are Deceiving Yourself In Premarital Relationship

How To Know You Are Deceiving Yourself In Premarital Relationship

You can beg someone to marry you but you cannot beg someone to love you. If you are one of those who do not appreciate the place of true love in success of marital relationship, it will be difficult for you to have a blissful married life.

When you marry a company instead of a character, you are deceiving yourself. What do I mean? If you marry someone because of the economic buoyancy of where the person works and the size of the person’s income, you are deceiving yourself to think that this is a license to joy in your marriage.

If as a lady, you have a finance that is not making any effort to “leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife” as instructed in Genesis, do not even give the marriage a second thought. If for instance, he is living with his parents or relatives and he is not interested in your suggestion that he rents, acquires or builds his own house, you will be entering a marriage that third party influence could destroy in no time.

When you have someone that you will always have to struggle to protect from other women or men, you are gunning for trouble if you go ahead to marry the person. If whenever you are not together, you feel the relationship is under threat, suspecting the person could be having fun with someone else, please, forget about marriage to that person.

When you believe the theory which says that having sex with someone will guarantee marriage to the person or convince him or her about the marriage, you deceive yourself. This theory has failed so many times. Yet, people have continued to live in self deceit, falling for it. Pre-marital sex is not a marriage guarantee.

If the person you intend to marry is already assaulting you physically on a regular basis and you overlook this flaw to go ahead with the marriage, do not blame any devil for whatever happens inside the marriage. You have only deceived yourself.

When you have a fiancée or fiancé that is so generous to you, offering you huge sums of money, buying you cars, dresses and other good things of life and you never for once, feel concerned or inquire as to his or her source of income, you will have no one to blame when you marry the person and eventually encounter police case problems or even criminal prosecution.

You might have a fiancée or fiancé who you hardly get to share time with because he or she is deliberately avoiding you. The nature of job or business could keep the person away physically. Fine. But you notice that each opportunity for you to be seen together in public is deliberately avoided. He or she even hardly picks calls when you try phone conversation. SMS messages are scarcely replied. If you go ahead to marry this person just because your relatives or society expects you to marry someone, you are likely to suffer for long in the marriage because this person is not your spouse. Don’t deceive yourself with his or her promise of marriage, especially after you have confirmed that he does not care about how you feel concerning these issues.

Don’t feel that someone is doing you a favour by dating you. There is an inner beauty or character in you that attracts the person to you. There is a need that your presence or relationship is meeting, in the person’s life. This means that you are important to his or life and by extension, his or her destiny. Now, when this person you expect to marry you starts avoiding you or your presence, it means the person is not your spouse. Trying to manipulate or pressurize the person to marry you means constructing the road to your own unhappiness in life.

If you claim to be falling in love with someone who is already married and you expect the person to marry you, you are deceiving yourself. If such marriage even holds, the marital problems ahead of you are innumerable.

If you are among those who believe that courtship before marriage is not necessary, you are deceiving yourself. “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?” (Jeremiah 17:9).

Considering the complex nature of human beings, people undergo long courtships before marriage and still have to lean on grace of God for a joyful marriage. So, how guaranteed is the marital success of two strangers who get married without courtship?

The sweet memories of courtship such as outings, sweet moments like feeding each other, impressive efforts such as nice perfuming, good dressing, support for projects and so on, can come handy for love revival during challenging moments in the marriage. Marriage does not only consist of holding each other’s arms, smiling all around the place and watching the setting sun together. There are challenging moments. Apart from the word of God, sweet memories of premarital fun times can be helpful at such moments.

As for those married people who are beginning to lose attraction to their spouses, go back to those sweet things you did during courtship. For instance, when last did you kiss your wife? Do it again. It is good.

Here is a warning for all singles. If you ask a tailor to make furniture for you, he cannot. He can only make dresses. So, don’t go around complaining that he is not giving you what he cannot give to you. You are the one that went to the wrong person. Do not get married to a wrong person, ignoring all signals that the person is the wrong person. Do not enter marriage, already seeing the prison that is ahead, only to get to the middle of the marriage, and complain or pretend you did not see the troubles coming.

Your marriage shall be a blessing and a miracle in Jesus name. Amen.


Pastor Albinus Chiedu





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