Research shows that most cases of marital crisis are products of inadequate understanding of what the marital institution entails and lack of emotional, psychological and spiritual preparation for the journey before embarking on it.
You must understand that a bad day, week, month or year in your marriage does not mean you have a bad marriage. You have to stay focused and see or remember the bright future in your marriage. There must have been something you saw that motivated your entry into this particular union.
In life’s journey, there are always ready storms standing to challenge your positive efforts, truncate your vision and discourage you from believing in your success story. There are always battles to fight in this world. Jesus said: “In the world,
you have tribulation” (John 16:33).
Have you thrown a lavish successful wedding ceremony? Thank God. Did you have a successful child delivery? Congratulations. Do you now have a child or children? Praise God. David aspired to kill Goliath and he did. But after that, he still had to fight so many wars to succeed as king. One battle or challenge makes way for another. So, the challenge you may be passing through in your marriage is not new. In fact, there are many people out there with worse cases and would even be glad that you pray for them from an angle of strength. I don’t know the negatives you may be experiencing in your marriage. I declare that you will definitely pass through the situation into your testimony in Jesus name! This may not look possible now but do not ever consider throwing in the towel because of the momentary heat.
As a trader or businessman, you do not close shop because you made a wrong business decision. Do you? Rather, you seek better alternative approaches to the business. Life is like a road journey with so many bus stops on the way. When you get to a point where there is a challenge such as flat tyre and so on, you do not decide to settle down at that spot, ending the journey unexpectedly, just because of that challenge. What you do is to seek solution to that challenge so that you can continue the journey and get to your destination. Do not give up on your marriage because of the challenges you may be facing presently.
There is something that must be understood by everyone in the marital institution. Until you see God in your marriage, your marriage may never have peace or be joyful. “Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God” (Matthew 5:8).
You cannot see God in your marriage except you change the way you perceive the marriage. If you do not change the way you look at things, things may not change the way they look. Begin to see a better spouse. See your spouse through the screen of God’s word. Do not see your spouse the way the world sees him or her. You may hear things like “if I were you, I will not take that rubbish from him/her. Who is he/she self?”. That is the advice the world will give you. It is all about self, ego, pride, lust, etc.
“And be not conformed to this world but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable and perfect will of God” (Romans 12:2).
In your estimation, your spouse may be bad, unbearable, not teachable and unchangeable person. God sees your spouse as his product that he can use his powers to repackage and restructure. Your spouse was created in God’s image just like you.
“So, God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them” (Genesis 1:27). God has the ability to change your spouse the way he converted a native doctor, cultist, armed robber, assassin and prostitute into a clergyman or clergywoman.
You may not see this possibility in your spouse if you keep perceiving your spouse the way enemies of God (some ungodly third parties out there) perceive your spouse. Besides, the negative perception could even have been created by you, out of some other factors.
Do you want to have a joyful marriage? You cannot achieve it by your own power (John 15:5). Hand over to the founder of the marital institution. Jesus says “Come unto me all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Mathew 11:28).
Are you in a dilemma after several prayers, vigils and other efforts to improve your marriage? You may need a counsellor. The challenge with many people is this. When your car develops fault, you get a mechanic to fix the car. When your body is sick, you go after a medical doctor. But when you have an emotional or spiritual pain, after failed attempts to fix it within the limits of your capacity, you remain in avoidable pains. Why not share the challenge with agents of the ultimate physician? There is no man of flesh and blood that can solve your marital problems in this world but God can use an agent, such as a Christian Marriage Counsellor.
Do you feel you have lost your joy in life because of marriage? It can be restored. God created marriage for your enjoyment. You can make your marriage work. Get more information on crisis management in marriage from the book, MAKING YOUR MARRIAGE WORK by Albinus Chiedu. We can equally talk via phone, email or SMS. The mountain you see may not be as high as you think.
Your marriage shall be a miracle and a testimony in Jesus name. Amen.
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