The devil is a liar and father of all liars (John 8:44). For instance, devil tells you that God helps those who help themselves. Many people even think it is in the Bible. Lie. It is not in the bible. If you can help yourself, then you don’t need Jesus. Jesus said in John 15:5, “…without me, you can do nothing.”
There are many wrong notions the devil has created about sex. Through this, he is manipulating people’s lives, especially in this era of technology. See some of them:
- EVERYBODY IS DOING IT– The pictures you see every day on the TV, Radio, newspapers, magazines and internet gives you the impression that everybody is having sex indiscriminately. This is a big lie from the devil. It is not even possible. If this perception is your motivation for desiring fornication and adultery, please, come back to undiluted truth. No unmarried person comes out with a gong or loud speaker to announce that he or she is a virgin. So, don’t assume that everybody is doing evil. There are still thousands in town that have refused to bow down to Baal. It is devil’s desperation that has created this impression that everybody is doing evil. Satan knows that Jesus will soon come. So, he has become more desperate to win more souls for hell fire. Do you also want to join him in hell fire? Don’t be a victim of what Jesus said in Matthew 24.
- SEX IS THE ONLY EVIDENCE OF LOVE: This is a big lie. How can we say that a prostitute in a hotel loves the hundreds of men that sleep with her? Is this possible? No. So, if someone can have sex with you without having God’s kind of love for you, then, sex is not the only evidence of love. A guy beats up a lady every day, gives her injuries, calls her all sorts of names and yet, has sex with her. Does the man love the lady? No. So, there can be a regular sexual intercourse without any iota of God’s kind of love. If you study what God’s kind of love is, you will discover that what many people call love today is very far from love. So, if someone that is not legally married to you asks you to have sex with him or her to prove that you love the person, the Bible says you should take off your shoes and run away from the person (1st Corinthians 6:18).
- A GOOD SEX COULD MEAN A GOOD SPOUSE: Sex is a very powerful force but it is not strong enough to make a marital relationship work if other critical factors are missing from it. Character plays a more important role in making a marital relationship work. The character of a person cannot be accurately measured or judged by how good or bad the person is in bed. A sex-driven relationship is originated by lust and gives blindness to the one who is all out just to satisfy lustful desires. When you are involved in it, you bluntly refuse to see the weaknesses and character flaws of your sexual partner because the pleasure of sex has taken over your faculty of judgement. A sex-driven relationship is self-centred and selfish. The moment you cease to derive pleasure from the sex, the relationship crumbles and your sexual partner looks out for another person who could possibly perform better in bed. All he/she knows about you is how good you are in bed and this is the criteria by which he/she measures your person. Your worth as a human being should be measured by values like integrity, honesty, vision, diligence, hard work, love, commitment and so on. Judging you by your sexual ability reduces you to the level of a prostitute. If you are involved in pre-marital or extra-marital sex, you are on your way to failure, destruction and God’s judgement.
- IT DOES NOT MATTER: The devil tells you that you can sleep with anybody of the opposite sex, or even the same sex. No problems. Now, apart from the fact that terminal diseases do not give signals to victims before infection, Jesus said that even looking at someone of the opposite sex lustfully is already a sin. (Matthew 5:27-28). You need to fear God. For every sexual intercourse outside legal marriage, a regrettable implication is ahead. You may not like this lifestyle of illicit sex but you are just finding it difficult to change. Don’t be surprised. You cannot change by your own power. Jesus said: “…for without me, you can do nothing (John 15:5).” You are under the devil’s bondage. So, surrender this burden of sin bondage to Jesus. He will deliver you. Just yield your heart. Make up your mind. Receive him. Your deliverance is possible.
- IT CAN BE FORGIVEN LIKE ANY OTHER SIN: The Almighty God in heaven is a God of mercy but this mercy must not be taken for granted because he is also a consuming fire. Besides, if you fornicate and contact terminal diseases, how about that? If you get pregnant in the process of fornication or adultery and incur a damaged womb from the process of abortion, who loses? What if you have a child out of wedlock and disrupt the good calendar and plan that God has for your life? So, it goes beyond God forgiving you your sin. It is also about your purpose of coming to this world. Don’t let God regret sending you.
- THE WRONG EQUATION MENTALITY:. Many young people believe that you should have sex with someone as the first step into the relationship, marry the person as second step and then, show the person love thereafter. This is a big lie from the devil. The correct equation is this. When I fall in love with someone, that is the first step. Based on my love for the person and to prove that I truly love the person, I will marry the person. This is the second step. After marriage, I now have a license to have sex with the person. So, it is love, marriage, before sex and not the other way round.
Are you a legally married person? There are several sex-related challenges that you may be facing presently. First, I want you to realize that so many other couples are facing sex-related challenges that are worse than yours. This puts you in a position of spiritual strength to help them.
Secondly, you need to realize that sexual relationship in marriage is not all about physical power and myopic perception. Attaining sexual satisfaction has more to do with strategy than energy.
Above strategy or energy, you need divine grace, strength and wisdom from above to actually please your spouse.
Also, sex has much to do with your mind psychology, physiological make-ups and body systems. Sorry! I am always not detailed on couples’ sexual relationship in this platform because even teenagers and under-aged persons are reading this column. I advise couples to see a counsellor or book an appointment to see us, so we can discuss freely. We can also discuss via email or phone (9 to 10pm daily).
The truth is that so many husbands are unfortunately, ignorant about a woman’s response to sexual urge and the right approach to sexual engagement. So, what we see is a lot of wives complaining that their husbands are not satisfying them sexually. Because of cultural constraints, the woman does not complain verbally to her husband so that she does not appear cheap or attract suspicion. She continues to die silently or emotionally. If she does not allow the Holy Spirit to rule over her, she begins to listen to Satan’s ‘beautiful’ suggestions. This is why we have cases of a very influential, educated and rich woman, having a sexual affair with an illiterate roadside artisan. Everybody is wondering what is happening.
For some wives, they begin to put up attitudes. Some begin to lose interest in sexual intercourse and the husband is wondering why his wife is behaving the way she behaves. To him, he is doing very well because he enjoys himself and ejaculates on each encounter.
There are also wives who think that all they owe their husbands is sexual pleasure. Sex is just one aspect of marriage. It is not everything. Some husbands are just not available for their wives and they feel all is well as long as enough money is provided for her. Sir, did the woman marry money or marry you?
A man and a woman’s bodies do not respond to sexual urge in the same way. Again, there are men who complain that their wives never take the first initiative for sexual pleasure. This is not supposed to be an issue when the dynamics behind this, are explained or understood.
Are you legally married and you currently have sex-related challenges in your marriage? Sex was created for marriage enjoyment and not for quarrel. Let us rob minds, tap into the grace, word and the power of Christ’s resurrection. Your sexual life will get better in Jesus name. Meanwhile, you can place an order for a copy of the book, MAKING YOUR MARRIAGE WORK by Albinus Chiedu. Your marriage is a blessing in Jesus name.