The Cambridge Advanced Learner’s Dictionary defines VIRUS as a computer programme or part of a computer programme, which can make copies of itself and is intended to prevent the system from working normally. It is also a small organism which causes disease in humans, animals and plants. There are so many viruses that are causing problems in the marital institution today.
The rate at which marriages are failing is creating the impression that it is not possible for any marriage to have a ‘made-in-heaven’ outlook. However, a close look at the issues at stake reveals some viruses that are destroying today’s marriages.
- WRONG MINDSET: “Do not be conformed to this world but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable, and perfect will of God” (Romans 12:2).
Once you have a wrong mindset and orientation regarding marriage, you can never be successful in marriage. There are so many wrong mindsets out there that are viruses to marital success.
The thinking that once there is enough money, no other thing is needed for marriage to be successful, is very wrong. If you disagree, explain to me why divorce rate among billionaire couples is increasing. Building the strings of your marital relationship around money alone is a marriage virus.
The mindset that there has to be a sexual intercourse before official marriage rites is a virus. It creates a journey into a marital relationship outside godliness. Such a marriage has sin as its foundation fence. This is just a sinking sand waiting for the day of occurrence. Besides, trust here is difficult because there has never been respect for the sanctity of marital sex.
Premarital sex does not secure a marriage. It can only secure a wedding ceremony. Wedding ceremony is a one-day affair. Marriage is a lifetime affair.
The mindset that it is only people who share tribe or language with you that should be married is a virus. Such mindset has offered people delay in getting married. Even when inter-tribal marriage occurs, trust is threatened and sometimes, destroyed.
The mindset that all men and all women are the same is a virus. Every individual in this world is peculiar and therefore, should be perceived differently. Besides, husband is different from man. Wife is different from woman. If you perceive your spouse the way you perceive other people of the same gender, your marriage is in danger.
- BAD HABIT: Bad habit is a virus that can finish your marriage before you know it. If you are a wife that smokes, that habit can destroy your child reproductive system or process. When this happens, you cannot predict your husband’s reaction. That marriage is in danger.
If you have the habit of late outings for leisure and drunkenness, you are exposing yourself to chances of being poisoned, drugged, sexually assaulted or raped. This can destroy your marital destiny. Besides, a husband that lives this kind of life is not matured for marriage. Marriage is for matured and responsible adults.
If you have the habit of cheating your spouse in financial matters, your marriage has a virus infection.
If you have the habit of show-off, it can make you to unconsciously leak information to criminals regarding your spouse. Before you know it, there is armed robbery and nobody knows where it is coming from. Wife, please, don’t boast in public that your husband travels to Dubai, New York and Europe, just so that they clap for you and respect you.
- ADDICTION TO PUBLIC OPINION ON YOUR MARRIAGE: Live your life more to please God than to please human beings. The mentality of “what will people say” is a virus. This is what pushes a husband with only female children into adultery in search of a male child. It is what hinders a husband from expressing and showing maximum love to his wife for fear of being tagged ‘woman wrapper’. This addiction is what has pushed many couples into exposing their private and domestic affairs through the social media. At the end of ‘Comments, Likes and Share’, a marriage is broken
- RELIGIOUS IGNORANCE: The mentality that church ministry is more important than marriage and family is a virus. Many marriages are breaking because one of the parties abandoned his or her responsibilities to his or her home in the name of church activities. This is a marital virus called religious ignorance.
Obeying an instruction from your clergyman that you should avoid sexual intercourse with your legally married spouse, without any reason is religious ignorance.
Spending millions of cash on church projects in the city, just to win applauds, while your aged biological parents in the hinterland are almost dying of hunger is a virus that can affect not just your marriage, but your entire destiny.
You are bearing malice with your spouse over a conflict that you have refused to resolve with forgiveness. Yet, you go to church to clap hands and shout and disturb the entire environment in the name of prayers. Sorry, God is not pleased with a malice bearer or someone who refuses to forgive an offence except if the prayer is for repentance. Malice bearing is a virus that can destroy your marriage.
- DISRESPECT FOR GOD’S WORD: This is a very stubborn virus that can ensure your marriage never works. If you disobey the instructions in Ephesians 5:21-29, your marriage may never work.
If your marriage has any of the above viruses, it needs an anti-virus. The only cure is yielding your heart and allowing Jesus Christ to possess it completely.
“And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and
take up his cross daily, and follow me” (Luke 9:23).
When this happens, it is no longer you that lives, but Christ who lives in you. Then, your marriage shall be a blessing and a testimony in Jesus name.
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