Is Marriage Actually Honourable? (Part 2)
Many people allow the impact of the information age and the social media to negatively influence their psyche to the extent of truncating their marital destinies. If it is about social media deceit, don’t begin to feel you have married the wrong person because of the social media photos of happily married couples you see. Such photos hardly have images of people with frowned faces. That is how deceptive it can be. You may be happier in your relationship than those you are despising your spouse for, over their photographs.
An African proverb says that the household that pounds yam noisily should not think that members of the other household who do not pound, do not eat food. If you think the marriage of the other couple is working, don’t get carried away. They have their own storms too and they have their own ways of calming their own storms noiselessly. The grass, they say, always looks greener on the other side.
Development of warped values has also become a huge challenge. As I said in previous editions for instance, the notion that once there is plenty of money, success in marriage is guaranteed, is a wrong notion. I am still waiting for someone to prove me wrong on this stand by explaining to me why divorce rate among billionaire couples has continued to increase.
In the midst of growing number of divorce cases today, there are couples in our environments whose level of sweetness and love in marriage have continued to grow, with or without affluence.
The truth is that marrying someone is a journey into discovering who the person is. Before you discover someone else however, have you discovered yourself? There are many people that were ‘very good’ and happy as singles. Their problems started when they got married to someone. In many of such cases, issues of compatibility were not addressed by the couple before choosing to get married to each other. So, the problem cannot be the relationship itself. Relationship is a good thing. In fact, relationship is everything. The problem is with the operators of the relationship. The ‘relators’ as it were, have a problem.
Whatever happens, know this. You may never have the opportunity to right your wrong beginnings but there will always be opportunity to right your present, future and ending. This is one of such opportunities to examine your status and see whether or not you are actually in the marital institution. If there are wrongs, there are several ways to right them. If you are yet to get married, this is the time to prepare yourself mentally, spiritually and of course, financially to get married.
If you have made up your mind not to get married for simple reason that you saw marriages collapse, or tried marriage before and it failed, you may have to explain to me whether you will resolve not to build a house because people’s houses collapsed. Will you abstain from buying a car because cars have recorded road accidents? You will have to tell me whether you will stop investing money in business just because businesses failed in the past. Will you commit suicide because other people are dying every day? MARRIAGE IS HONOURABLE AND REMAINS SO.
If your marriage has a challenge, you need to approach the right source for solution. Seeking counsel or a solution from a wrong source can be likened to seeking the services of a carpenter to mend your faulty dress or car.
“For no other foundation can anyone lay than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ” (1st Corinthians 3:11).
If your marriage is approved of God, the solution to any challenge in that marriage is not in any other way, than the way and method of God as reflected in his word. Marriage is so important to God that the very first miracle that Jesus performed in Cana was at a wedding ceremony in John chapter 2.
If you have a marital challenge and someone is counselling you, that counsel must be weighed with the word of God. “Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands in the path of sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in his law he meditates day and night” (Psalm 1:1-2).
Don’t make a Human Rights Activist your marriage counsellor except when the counsel received is Bible-based. Otherwise, you will offend God as a Christian. For instance, when your wife or husband offends you and you seek the counsel of such people, they will advise you thus: “Don’t take that shit from anybody because it is against your human right. As a matter of fact, you have a right to end the marriage through divorce.”
God’s counsel is different. The day you accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and personal saviour, there is no longer a YOU. “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in
me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the son of God who loved me and gave himself for me” (Galatians 5:20).
I hope you know that your prayers may never be answered when you mistreat your spouse? (1st Peter 3:7). Your personal relationship with your owner and maker is priority.
If you are one of those who have formed, embraced or has been fed with an erroneous impression about the marital institution, please know today that marriage is and will forever remain honourable. Everything that God created, including marriage, is very good. It is the operators of marriage that have problems. If you are currently an operator of a troubled marriage, acknowledge first, that you could be the major source of the problem. This will mark the beginning of solutions to your marital challenges. MARRIAGE IS HONOURABLE.
For Counsel, CONTACT: +234 8038117704, firstname.lastname@example.org